Wednesday, September 19, 2012

On Pain

When is it okay to give up? Is it after the years of infertility? At least we didn't have the false sense of hope to lie to us during that time.  Is it after the first ectopic pregnancy and watching my lovely wife almost die? We recovered from that, or at least we recovered as much as one can.

How about now? A second ectopic pregnancy in one year, and on the due date of our last pregnancy no less. Can I give up now? Can we retreat into our sorrow and depression? Can I look at all the happy families and feel anything but jealousy and loneliness?

I feel empty. I don't know if I have anymore to give.

If you didn't know, don't worry or take it personally. We probably didn't tell you. We are recovering...ish. I feel like Job, or at least the protagonist in a Lifetime Original Movie. That said, we still have each other, our families, our friends, and our faith to sustain us. We will be okay in the end.