Monday, October 27, 2008

I never would have said that to Lance Armstrong

Husband and I participated in some car shopping last week. I suppose I look my age and since I was test driving sedans the inevitable question came up.
"Do you have kids?"
"Are you going to have some?"
"Maybe, hopefully, we'll see in the coming months/years."
I felt pretty at ease with one salesman and his male coworker, who didn't look much older than I and since they're salesmen and worked on the personal rapport with me, I gave them more info, hoping for a pity discount in order to save some money for various procedures. We finished up the night talking in the coworker's office. Here's how it went down:

Him (pointing out the photo of a young boy on his desk): That's my son. I would love more.

Me: There's always time. I can say that to you because people are always telling me how much time I have.

Him: Actually I'm a cancer survivor. I had testicular cancer so the fact that I have one is pretty amazing.

Me (to myself with a look of horror on my face): D'oh! I suppose I'll not be getting the pity discount anymore.

Honestly, what are the odds? Testicular cancer? Really!? Touche, sir. Good day!

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Cycle Begins Again..

I just left my primary care physician and I feel so good. No good news about fixing me, it wasn't that easy before and it won't be that easy this time but I feel like a medical professional actually cares. The NP who examined me was able to recommend a fertility clinic in the area that she has personal experience with. I just looked them up online and they seem like they will be SO MUCH BETTER than where I went before. I won't make my appointment until December or January but I feel good knowing what direction we're going to take then. She also recommended things I can do now to prepare for the journey.
Oh, and she told me that I have a *shy* cervix. That's a new one. Up until now the only abnormalities have been with my uterus but nothing that would keep a normal person from getting pregnant for 6 years. Something to work with at least.

Friday, September 26, 2008


This blog has been a long time coming. I registered it a while ago because I wanted this particular url (or whatever it's called) but I have not been ready to write anything. Sorry to anyone who's been waiting with baited breath. Without further ado, here' s my story:

I am infertile but I prefer the term broken. No one knows why, not me, not Husband, not any of the doctors I have been to. I find the whole process frustrating because it seems we can cure anything, except the common cold, cancer, and infertility in an otherwise healthy, young(-ish) couple. It's been six years now (and counting!) that we've been trying to get pregnant, with absolutely no avail. Not even a little avail. I have come to find that infertility is something that is not understood very well and I want to try to help. I do not expect my experiences to be all-encompassing for every infertile woman or couple out there, but with this blog, I hope to help some people understand what it is like, at least for me. It may be more information than many of you ever wanted about me/us.

I plan on beginning treatments again early next year and I want to keep a record of it, as well as to record what I have been through thus far. I will not pretend that it has been as difficult for me as it is for others and I don't want to belittle anything that anyone else has experienced or felt. I won't say that it has been particularly difficult for me. Sure, there are moments when it hurts but mostly I am happy with my lot in life and scared to even think about having kids. I want to show the humorous aspects of infertility. Really, there have been several. Read along if you wish and I apologize in advance of offending anyone who reads this, but I intend it to be a fairly naked baring of myself.