Sunday, January 31, 2010

A Blind Rage

I'm currently on letrazole for a week or so, since I will NEVER go back to clomid. The side effects are much easier on letrazole, but not non-existent still (and I don't think cancer is as possible with letrazole). I may not be feeling any, to be honest.

But I'm going to blame my pissiness of late on the drug, and not my general nature. I like to think that I usually let things roll off my back, but for some reason I was REALLY mad last night.

And who knows, maybe I'll look back at one night of anger and long for something so simple. And at least I didn't have to punch a wall or person or cat to feel better. Maybe Husband has noticed worse side effects.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

A little preparation

So while I wait for the drugs to take effect and make a baby inside me I've been focusing on things I can control and change to maybe encourage such baby making. Since I've got this extra time, I figured that I can focus on being as healthy as possible so that when the doctor impregnates me (with husband's sperm, I hope) the environment will be the most hospitable for growing life. It helps to have goals and takes my mind off the maddening procedures and tests and disappointments and other things that I can't control so much.

I have been taking my prenatal vitamins regularly for the past several months. I usually get frustrated with the lack of pregnancy and quit for weeks at a time, but I guess I finally realized that won't help.

I exercise regularly. Mostly running. Outside whenever possible, but on the treadmill when it's too cold or rainy or snowing. Even in NY I've had some days this winter when I've been able to run outside.

Husband and I gave us soda, candy and chips for the year, which should help me avoid gestational diabetes and a child who is born pre-hyped up on sugar.

I eat yogurt almost everyday, if it's in the house. I don't really like yogurt, but I've been told that it can help with the whole hospitable environment issue. And I had to replace my morning candy break with something.

These are the physical things I've been doing to prepare my body for growing a baby, but I'm also emphasizing the spiritual and mental as well, but more on those later.

And it brightened my morning when I ran into a friend in the parking lot of the doctor's office. It's always good to know I'm not doing this alone, in so many ways.