Saturday, November 14, 2009

Village Court and Walmart

Husband here. There's no real news on the fertility front. I did want to take a moment to make a point about something that's been bothering me. I'm not sure if Wife has mentioned this in the past but it is something that has become acutely aware to me over the last week. If Wife and I had got drunk and fornicated at 15 years old, we would undoubtedly have gotten pregnant.

Now I know this happens to people and I'm in no way trying to attack people who have had this experience and made something of their life. To them I congratulate wholeheartedly. Likewise, to those teen mothers and fathers who give their children up for adoption, I cannot help but admire your bravery in the face of adverse circumstances. Nor do I mean to imply by doing things the "right" way we have undermined our own reproductive potential.

That said, I went to traffic court this past week. I was most definitely guilty of the charges made (talking on my cell phone while driving, stupid New York), and sheepishly paid my fine. But while there, I couldn't help but do a little people watching of my fellow criminals. I'm not sure if it was the gut wrenching body odor of the lovely man sitting two seats next to me, the vulgar diatribes of the underfed meth addicts in the corner, or the incessant whining of the juvenile offender about how he couldn't afford a speeding ticket on his $8/hr income, but I came to a realization that there are entirely too many people in this world. Worse is that the relative fertility of these less than savory characters is exponentially greater than my own.

This then brings me to pointing out a flaw in Darwin's theory of natural selection. I can think of no biological imperative that would cause a species to select for its stupidest members in terms of their fecundity. At the current rate of growth of this other half of the human population, I can't help but fear that in 10 years time Dan Brown or Stephenie Meyer (I stand corrected) will be considered fine literature. But wait we're already there................NO!!!!

Oh and for visual evidence of this, our dear friend Lissa turned me on to this website.

7 comments:

Kendra Leigh said...

It's Stephenie Meyer. Get it right, dude.

La Yen said...

Also, if you were a single soldier with no desire to parent, you would be THE MOST FERTILE PERSON EVER.

I don't get it either.

Have you tried paying the 30% tithing? I hear it works...

Relaxed Cat said...

So that explains it. As a species, we're doomed.
You should try writing for the lowest-common-denominator; then you'd be rich, too.
And you could buy any baby in the world!
I know you have it in you; you'd just have to close your eyes to that silly notion of self-respect. Do it. Do it.

Jon and Chelle said...

Have you ever seen the movie idiocracy? that's what this post reminds me of.

Mrs Coops said...

Stupid meth addicts!

That's all...

Morgan said...

I thought you would get a kick out of this... stupid things people say.

http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=2866

Amy said...

usually people get pregnant when they least expect and don't plan on it.....so do that, stop planning, stop trying, and just have fun, and when its meant to happen it will, just relax and fun!!